I take it back...

So, I take back my weather comment from last night's post. It came to my normal time for running tonight, so I got ready. I looked outside and the sky was blue from what I could see. I thought maybe I heard a little rumble but I wasn't sure. When I got outside the storm was still a little ways off. I figured I could maybe get in a few laps before the rain came. The track is only a block away from my house. On the way the patch above it was completely clear. By the time I got there, the sky was completely dark with clouds and I could see flashes. I'm a wuss and didn't want to get electrocuted so I headed home after one lap. I wanted to get somewhat of a run in so I decided to go down the block before and at least get a tiny bit extra in. I got halfway down the block when I started getting pelted by a few pieces of hail. It started to come down more so I stood under a tree til it turned back to rain. I booked it back to our apartment completely disappointed, absolutely pissed, and slightly drenched. I came in ranting to Brian and all of a sudden it starts hailing more and bigger and it was super windy. It was pelting the window. Brian was actually kind of scared. It ended after just a few minutes. It didn't really last long at all. We went and peeked out the door to see our road covered in hail and leaves and our cars plastered with leaves that blew onto them. Our road was flooded and our lawn was covered in icy chunks. It was crazy. So, I never got my run in. I was really looking forward to it, too! Here's some pictures of the hail:
Other than that, today was uneventful, as usual. I did dishes, folded a few clothes, and got distracted. I was trying to get rid of clothes so I weeded a few out. The patterns and colors on them were so pretty, so I decided to cut them into strips so I can crochet them into something. The first item I took my scissors to was a dress I had gotten for the barn dance a few years ago. The pattern and colors of it were gorgeous, the fit, however, was not. It took me three hours to cut it all apart. I can't wait to try making something with it! I'll let you know how it goes.

So, I figure I need to put some pictures here for reference. I guess mostly my own, since I am pretty sure nobody else is reading this. (is anyone out there?) First, here's my past weight struggles and strengths. I was always the chubby kid, at least I always thought so. Part of it is my farm girl build. I naturally have bulky leg muscles. I've always struggled with liking them. In my much younger days (11-14 or so?) I topped out between 150-160. Around 8th grade I slowly started losing, getting down under 150. At age 16-17 I was at my lowest at the lower 140's and I was in pretty good shape. When I got closer to 18 I slowly began to gain, and slowly lost the great confidence I had gained. I'll admit it, at my lowest I was pretty damn hot. I was a hit with the boys, I felt great about myself, almost anything fit me. I was up to about 160 when I started college. Well, of course the first year of college brings the "freshman 15", which for me was the Freshman 20-25. I had Taco Bell as part of my prepaid meal plan, and of course I drank way too much. Last spring I was at my top weight of at least 190. I'm not positive because I didn't have a scale. I worked at a chocolate factory and spent my time on the couch watching tv with Brian. I started using the wii fit and got a little too intense. My back went out completely, which derailed my working out. I went to the doctor and he told me it was because I was simply too fat. (He told me not to eat cheese. I'm from Wisconsin. Get real!) He pointed out that I had gained 10 pounds a year for the past 4 years. Nevermind the fact that I was 16 at the time and still developing hips and boobs. I did agree with him, however, that I needed to lose some weight. This first picture is from right after that:


This picture completely grossed me out when I first saw it. It still does. This was around the upper 180's. This is me recently:


This also makes me feel a little gross. I believe I have lost some weight since then. Probably about 5 pounds or so. I think I can see it in my face and arms for sure, but it's hard to say, since I see myself everyday. Recently, I got down to 175. Due to fluctuations for monthly reasons, I have been maintaining the mid-upper 170's. Since I have reached 175, which was my last goal, I am now going for my goal of 170, but, like I said, I am not necessarily in it with a goal of simply losing weight. I want to make progress in many ways. I want to see muscle tone (which I am starting to see slightly), flexibility, endurance, motivation, and any other accomplishments that I see popping up along the way. I know that overall all of those will keep me going. I've gone before going for weight loss, and I ended up depressed I wasn't losing fast enough or didn't think I was seeing improvements and would end up quitting. It was the same with going for noticeable body change. Recently, I've been feeling that depressed feeling, but the other accomplishments have helped motivate me to keep up with it.

Well, this post has gotten pretty long already, so I won't bore you with anymore details. Good night, all!